Down goes Ron DeSantis

| 12:30 am EST January 16, 2024
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

You’ve perhaps heard of the book, “Gone Girl.” I’m a big fan. But after Iowa, my friends — after Iowa — it’ll hopefully be “Gone GUY.” Farewell, Ron DeSantis. You gave it a good old-fashioned try. You reached for the brass ring, and the brass ring knocked you away bigly.

Farewell, he of the wooden personality, the grating voice that could drive the most rational person to unheard-of depths of insanity. Farewell, Pudding fingers, you who would DARE to ban precious books. It is time to admit defeat. It is time to go home, you and your wife, Lady Macbeth, you who will never be President of anything except strange people.

Farewell, dear Ronny, you of the calculating ways and awkward gait. You who never had a chance in hell because, as the American people got to see, you are one strange egg.

Egghead. You will always have the distinction of having the biggest, the best, the brightest failure of any Iowa candidate. You brought your strangeness to Iowa, let it percolate, let it out to play, and Iowans ran screaming as they should have.

Farewell dear DeSantis, who hopefully will become a political nonentity after his Governor’s term is up. We will no longer have to hear that whining, sulking, pathetic voice. No longer will you have ANY political future whatsoever. I hear Disney is hiring.

Farewell, Desantis, king of homophobia and shepherd of anti-choice . Seeing your campaign flop like a wiggling fish on a hook has given us the deepest, the best satisfaction. Now, you’re done, and you will be gone, guy. We couldn’t be happier.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.