Donald Trump sounds like a confused zombie during Christmas speech

| 11:11 pm EST December 24, 2017
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

Donald Trump spent all of Christmas Eve ranting and raving and lying and threatening people on Twitter. At least we think it was him, because based on how he comes off in public these days, we’re not sure he has the stamina to even type that many incoherent characters. Trump posted a video of himself delivering a Christmas message, and suffice it to say that he doesn’t exactly sound well. In fact he sounds like a confused zombie.

Trump posted twenty-three seconds of footage in which he incorrectly referred to himself as the “President of the United States” (sorry, traitor Trump, the office has been vacant all year). Then he insisted that Americans have been dreaming about Christmas all year, when surveys say that the majority of Americans have actually spent all year dreaming about Trump being impeached. But the real upshot here is that Trump just doesn’t sound well. Judge for yourself:

If the above video won’t load, click here.

Of course Trump posted this video shortly after he tweeted this ignorant nonsense: “People are proud to be saying Merry Christmas again. I am proud to have led the charge against the assault of our cherished and beautiful phrase. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!” In the imaginary world in which he and his white trash faux-christian supporters live, apparently it’s been illegal to say “Merry Christmas” until Trump took office.

But don’t worry, because Donald Trump’s scandals are closing in on him to the point that he’ll be ousted from office before much longer, and he’ll land in prison eventually. That is, of course, if the confused zombie doesn’t keel over first of natural causes. He already sounds like he’s 92% dead. Merry Christmas!