Coke is it? Donald Trump has been ranting on Twitter for seventeen hours straight

| 11:55 pm EST January 2, 2018
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No way is he pulling this off without an assist. Donald Trump has spent the past seventeen hours ranting on Twitter about everything from having his enemies arrested, to starting a nuclear war, to – no kidding – launching some kind of game show next Monday at 5pm. We know he’s this mentally unstable. We also know that he doesn’t have the stamina to pull this off for this long of a stretch. So what’s he got up his sleeve today, or up his nose?

In certain past instances, Trump’s behavior has perfectly mirrored that of someone who was high on cocaine. It happened during the debates. The sniffing. The paranoia. The constant shift in moods. The unusual level of energy. It happened again during a few subsequent Twitter marathons. A number of people, from retired medical doctor Howard Dean to self-acknowledged cocaine addict Carrie Fisher, openly accused Trump of being coked up. Tonight we’re seeing all the symptoms again.

Well, most of the symptoms. We don’t know if he’s sniffing, because it’s been so long since he’s appeared before any cameras. But seventeen hours ago he was tweeted this deranged crap: “Crooked Hillary Clinton’s top aid, Huma Abedin, has been accused of disregarding basic security protocols. She put Classified Passwords into the hands of foreign agents. Remember sailors pictures on submarine? Jail! Deep State Justice Dept must finally act? Also on Comey & others.” By the end of it he was tweeting this crap: “North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”

Somewhere in the middle of it all, Donald Trump also tried to start wars today with Iran, Pakistan, and the Palestinians. He inexplicably took credit for a lack of plane crashes. He claimed, with no basis, that Hispanics are “falling in love” with him. Maybe it’s not cocaine. Maybe it’s amphetamines. Or maybe Trump’s worsening psychosis just happens to mimic the symptoms of cocaine usage when he’s his most stressed out. But it sure does feel like he’s been getting a chemical assist with today’s supersized stupidity.