Ivanka Trump is having the worst birthday of all time

| 5:46 pm EDT October 29, 2017
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Happy Birthday, Ivanka Trump. No really, we mean it. We may not be your biggest fans, but feel free to take our warm wishes and enjoy your big day the best you can. At this rate you’re going to need it, because your birthday is Monday, October 30th – and you’re having the worst birthday surprise of all time. No really, Ivanka, it doesn’t get any worse for you than this.

Today is Ivanka Trump’s 36th birthday. It’s also the day of the first arrests in Donald Trump’s Russia scandal. Paul Manafort and Rick Gates have already been arrested, but Ivanka has no idea who else is getting arrested today. Maybe it’ll be Michael Flynn, the traitor she helped elevate when she approached him during the transition period and offered him any White House job he wanted. Maybe it’ll be Jared Kushner, her husband, who held a series of secret meetings with the Russian government before and after election day, and then committed a felony by lying about it on his security clearance form. Maybe it’ll be her brother, Donald Trump Jr. Maybe it’ll somehow be even worse for her.

The point of these arrests isn’t to send these specific people away to prison, though that’s certainly in the cards. The point is to pressure them into cutting a deal and flipping on Donald Trump himself. That means we’re about to be looking at a situation where someone like Kushner has to decide whether to risk rotting in prison, or rip the happy family apart by testifying against Trump.

Ivanka Trump is spending her birthday watching the people around her get arrested, and then waiting to see whether that person decides to help send her father to prison. And – surprise – she doesn’t even know who else will be getting arrested before her birthday is over. For all she knows, the knock could come at her own door.