Steve Bannon, or the drug dealer who lived in his house, destroyed his bathtub with acid

| 1:14 am EST March 12, 2017
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White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon, who is either an evil overlord pulling Donald Trump’s puppet strings or a designated bogey man chosen to try to make Trump look not quite so despicable in comparison, has been viewed by the American public as a cartoon villain. He’s been portrayed on Saturday Night Live as the Grim Reaper. So it’s perhaps fitting that the latest story about Bannon is the insane revelation that his bathtub was destroyed with acid.

Most Americans would rather not think about the grotesque Steve Bannon and hot tubs, period. But sure enough Bannon had one in his home in Miami, which he shared with a woman who was his ex-wife at the time (you’re not reading that wrong). And smack in a new expose from the Washington Post, which tried to figure out where Bannon really lives and whether he’s been breaking the law disguising which state he lives in for financial reasons, is a bizarre detail. After Bannon and his ex-wife vacated the Miami home, the landlord wanted to know why the hot tub appeared to have been destroyed by acid.

Bannon referred the landlord back to his then ex-wife (whom we suppose is still his ex-wife). She was apparently a drug addict who also had a boyfriend at the time who may have been living there, and he was a drug dealer. So Steve Bannon and a woman he had already gotten divorced from and her cocaine dealing boyfriend all apparently lived in this house in Florida at the same time. Either that or Bannon didn’t really live there and he only rented the house for purposes of financial fraud, and he allowed the drug addict and the drug dealer to live in his house without him. Because hey, Donald Trump only hires the best people.

And on the way out, one of the three of them apparently doused the bathroom hot tub with acid in order to destroy evidence of… something. Was Steve Bannon really murdering people in a bathtub, as his biggest detractors have long envisioned? Had the boyfriend been using the tub to manufacture drugs? No one knows, as the drug dealer “could not be reached for comment” because he’s now in prison. You’ve got to read this Washington Post story.