Sticking it to Jim Jordan

| 10:00 pm EDT July 14, 2021
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Jim Jordan (human garbage, insurrection party, Ohio) is one of the most vile and disgusting politicians out there. There might be some of you out there who think I am too hard on the moronic Congressman. Human garbage? That’s a childish thing to say and not needed, some might say.

To the doubters, I say this: I wear my disgust of this putrid human being with pride. I have no issue calling someone something that is true. Somebody needs to tell this guy off. For today, I have decided that person is me.

So, Jordan posted a tweet that is so bizarre, one can only imagine how his twisted and tormented brain even came up with it:

The left started the culture war.
They kneeled for the anthem.
They let boys play girls sports.
They pushed Critical Race Theory.
They politicized July 4th.
They tried to cancel Christmas.
They tore down statues.
They made up genders.

I am going to rewrite the tweet the way it SHOULD be written if Jordan was honest.

(“The left is winning, and that scares me.)

(How dare they honor black people by kneeling?)

They let boys play girls sports. (HOW can I stop George Clooney from coming out with that film about me? Should I sue him? No, that won’t work. Maybe I’ll just call him a socialist)

They pushed Critical Race Theory. (I do not know what that is, but it is the enemy of the month, so I will make the former guy happy by saying something mean and hateful about it.)

They politicized July 4th. (got that from Don Jr. makes me sound good, don’t it??)

They tried to cancel Christmas. (Got that from Bill O’Reilly. Sounds good, don’t it?)

They tore down statues. (Antifa made them do it.)

They made up genders. (When I was wrestling coach, a boy was a boy, and a girl was a girl. I should include that. Hmm-maybe better not to mention anything having to do with wrestling and boys.”

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.