Spies in the Republican Party

| 10:00 pm EDT September 5, 2021
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How do you feel about James Bond? I like him. I enjoy James Bond films. Spies are an interesting bunch, and it is mighty fun indeed to view their exploits and adventures. But I have news — it would seem that there are a few spies in Congress! This is unbelievable.

I wonder if these spies have ever met James Bond. And they are so well-known! How on earth did they manage to keep themselves undercover for so very long? Perhaps Bond himself was their mentor. Who are these spies? Well — I’d hate to reveal their identities.

Oh, wait! The House Freedom Caucus already did! My apologies, dear readers! I can tell you. These legendary undercover spies are Rep. Liz Cheney and Rep. Adam Kinzinger. Surprise! Cue Spy music. So, yes, these two have been labeled as being spies — for the Democratic party! Obviously, they are not. But don’t tell Rep. Andy Biggs that.

Biggs has written a letter on behalf of his misfit caucus. And the letter is to Kevin McCarthy. Biggs has accused the two sane Republicans of being spies sent by the Democratic party to uncover Republican escapades.

And Biggs and his Motley group want the two removed from the Republican party. This is one of those stories where I struggle to keep a straight face when writing it. There is a slight chance Kevin might take this seriously. After all, he is just about as insane as his beloved Freedom Caucus.

And if he does, the two spies will most likely caucus with the Democrats. Could the GOP really be that stupid?

Sadly — they could. But I do not think Cowardly Kev will move on this. After all, Kevin’s schedule has more critical things, like threatening to sue Telecommunication companies and calling Speaker Pelosi names. This is but a tiny issue. So, in the spirit of spies everywhere, I say this about the GOP with deep sarcasm: “Shocking, Positively Shocking.”