Rudy Giuliani caught in pathetic moment at JFK airport

| 6:00 pm EDT August 24, 2021
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There are some visual images that, once one sees them, are etched in one’s brain forever, and sadly one can never again unsee them. Recently, one of these visual images occurred. It all began at John F. Kennedy airport. In this vast airport, there existed a lounge.

This lounge was a lovely place, and many first-class flyers would relax there, eating, drinking, and making merry as they waited for their planes. And on this particular day, there existed inside this beautiful lounge a former mayor. It was Rudy Giuliani.

Rudy was hungry. A bowl of lobster bisque was brought to him, and the former mayor and insurrectionist supporter proceeded to happily help himself to the delicious soup. Such a sweet picture of a lone traveler enjoying his soup. Eventually, mean finished, the soon-to-be passenger proceeded to do something.

What do most people do after a meal? Well, sometimes they order coffee (or a drink.) Other times they may head to the restroom to wash up. These are not things the eccentric former mayor chose to do. Instead, Rudy proceeded to whip something from his person. Video footage posted by our friend Michael Rapaport reveals that it was an electric shaver:

I imagine eyes bulged in horror as Mr. Giuliani then began to — shave — in the middle of the lounge. Passers-by just stared. Rudy happily set about grooming himself in the middle of the restaurant.

Naturally, the shaving cream aficionado did not appear to notice the looks of horror as the clean-machine went about his business. What are we to make of this? Could it have an optical illusion? Maybe he is a secret spy? Perhaps Rudy is not Rudy. Maybe he is, after all, Keyser Soze, found after all these years.

I think those are all exciting possibilities, but they are wrong. I think Rudy is just — a nutter. With that being said, my apologies to the eatery patrons for the image they will now be forced to carry in their brains for life. As for Rudy, maybe next time he visits an airport, leave the shaving behind?