Mike Pence is running on fumes

| 2:00 pm EDT September 17, 2021
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Mike Pence is most definitely running on empty. There are rumors swirling about that Mr. Pence is indeed going to throw his useless hat in the ring in 2024, to try his best to grasp for ultimate power.

That’s right folks. “Mike Dense” is reportedly going to run for President of the United States of America! How does the prospect of having a President Dense grab you? I am calling him that because that is exactly what he is, if he thinks he has a chance of actually winning.

Now I am going to most likely shock some of you. I think this is a great move on his part! This is because he will never get the nomination, but it sure would be fun watching him try.

And can one imagine the debates that would go on with all the contenders? Let’s see. We’d have traitor and fist pumper, Josh Hawley. We’d have lying Ted Cruz. We would possibly have Ron DeSantis, which is a major threat, not because he might win, but because his voice is worse than fingers on a chalkboard, and it’s trauma inducing.

Seriously, DeSantis might have the most irritating voice I have ever heard. So, let’s look at how these fellow competitors would push Mikey out of contention. Naturally, they would invoke the billion dollar loser, and his attempts to get Mike Dense to overturn the election.

Only, you’ve got to figure many of these people would be on Assolini’s side, not the side of the American people. That would be one debate worth watching, as the pool of possible GOP contenders argue earnestly over whether Mike was a big enough traitor to win the nomination.

Speaking of traitors, it is being reported that Mike Pence went to Dan Quayle to see if there was anything he could do to help Shitler retain power. Obviously, there was not. So that just shows Pence is even more evil than we all thought.

Thanks again to creative Palmer Report readers for the wonderful array of names for His fraudulency. As for Pence? I think he should go back to the cornfields of Indiana, and do some serious self reflection.