Jim Jordan finds a new way to humiliate himself

| 12:17 am EST March 1, 2021
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Nobody’s favorite Congressman Jim Jordan was a featured speaker at CPAC. It wasn’t pretty. Wearing a puffy shirt and standing below a sign saying “America Uncanceled,” the boorish Jordan let it rip.

He began his speech by talking of issues deeply trying to our nation at the moment. These issues are the supposed cancellation of Kermit the Frog and Mr. Potato Head. One knows Jordan is a basket case. However, if he believes Kermit and Potato are making Americans miserable, that is disturbing. And in that case, I recommend therapy because I think the beautiful people of our country have a little more on their minds right now.

Moving along, Jordan declared that America is trying to cancel him and all Republicans. Speaking of the 2020 election, Jordan said, “Jim Jordan can’t object to Pennsylvania.” Ahem. Well, first off, he did object. Second, referring to one’s self in the third person is exceptionally creepy.

Jordan then declared that “no President has done more than Trump.” Promises kept and all that garbage. The sputtering Congressman also declared that Democrats come after Republicans because Republicans tell the truth. I watched this hoping, in the tradition of Pinocchio, Jordan’s nose would start to expand, but alas, that did not happen. So, Jordan did not speak for long (thankfully). His speech was only about ten minutes. One good thing about CPAC is that we won’t have to suffer through it for another year.