Attorney representing Capitol attackers goes missing

| 4:22 pm EDT August 31, 2021
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Infamous right-wing attorney John Pierce is missing. He skipped a number of recent court appearances, sending his associate Ryan Marshall in his place. Marshall has offered the courts an evolving series of excuses for his boss’ absence, first stating that Pierce had an unspecified conflict, then claiming he’d had an accident and was on his way to the hospital, and eventually saying Pierce was hospitalized with Covid-19 and breathing through a ventilator.

Marshall may not be too concerned that his lack of candor with the courts could bring sanctions down on him because, well, he isn’t actually a lawyer. In fact, he’s more of a criminal defendant himself, awaiting trial in Pennsylvania on charges of conspiracy to commit theft in a case where he allegedly defrauded the courts.

Meanwhile, Pierce’s vaccination status is unknown, but he has widely broadcast his paranoid anti-vaccination beliefs in the past. And let’s face it, odds are literally 100-to-1 that he wouldn’t be on a ventilator if he had been vaccinated.

But Pierce’s illness is problematic for several other very fine people. You see, he is in the middle of representing nearly 20 of the January 6th insurrectionists after being fired from the defense team of unrepentant domestic terrorist Kyle Rittenhouse. So now these defendants must wait for their attorney to resurface from his mystery illness. Their cases are on hold while their lawyer occupies a desperately-needed ICU bed, struggling to breathe as he perhaps recovers from an entirely avoidable illness. Or perhaps not.

This is the part where I should probably offer my thoughts and prayers, but I really don’t care, do U?