Donald Trump just woke up on the wrong side of the bed
If you’re Donald Trump, is there a right side of the the bed to wake up on these days? He’s being impeached. His criminal scandals are unraveling. He’s facing the prospect of spending the rest of his life in prison. He wakes up each day knowing that he’s one step closer to ending up in solitary confinement. But today in particular, Trump seems especially grouchy.
When Donald Trump first fell out of bed this morning, he simply tweeted the #StopTheCoup hashtag, which – as one could have predicted – has since quickly been turned into a punchline. But don’t worry, because just two hours later, Trump apparently forgot that the Democrats were carrying out a coup against him, and he began attacking them for not doing anything: “Such a disgrace that the Do Nothing Democrats are doing just as their name suggests, Doing Nothing!”
Wait, are the Democrats doing nothing, or are they carrying out a coup? Because it doesn’t feel like both those things could simultaneously be true. But Trump wasn’t done, as he began tweeting stupid things like “Shifty Schiff is Corrupt.” It’s as if he really thinks that this kind of juvenile smack talk is going to save him from the fate he’s facing.
Donald Trump tends to be a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to what’s surfacing in the news, so if he’s grouchy now, just wait. Soon enough he’ll find out that Rudy Giuliani’s secret plot with the Department of Justice has been exposed (these kinds of secret plots only work when they remain secret), and that he’s destroyed what little was left of Doral’s financial viability by trying to hold the G7 summit there.
