Will Republicans please shut up?

| 7:00 pm EDT March 18, 2022
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We all remember it from the good old days. Then President Barack Obama became part of a week-long news cycle on Fox News for doing something simply dreadful. In fact, it was so bad it’s amazing the nation survived it. He did something so awful, so inexcusably déclassé that no other President in US history had ever done it before (except for Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton). On August 28, 2014, Obama held a press conference about the situation concerning ISIS in Syria while wearing a tan suit.

Of course Fox News’ counterfeit outrage at Obama’s sartorial choice was racist, because the people at Fox News were and remain racists. They hated Obama because he was a brilliant, highly-educated, charismatic President who also happened to be a man of color. In fact, their criticism of Obama for wearing a tan suit was so blatantly, stupidly unpopular and chickenshit thing for Fox News to do that they actually saw their mistake, apologized and backed down from it.

No, I’m just kidding. They doubled down. They were and remain blatant, stupid and chickenshit racists. This is, after all, Fox News I’m talking about. They’re Republicans and therefore they are and always will be partisan hacks who never, ever admit they made a mistake. Unless they’ve been successfully sued, of course. But that’s about money so that goes without saying.

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that a blatant, stupid and chickenshit Republican loser named Peter Schiff, a failed congressional candidate, criticized President Volodymyr Zelenskyy for wearing a t-shirt while addressing Congress. “I don’t have much respect for current members of the U.S. Congress either,” Schiff whined, “but I still wouldn’t address them wearing a t-shirt. I wouldn’t want to disrespect the institution or the Unites [sic] States.” Gee, doesn’t Mr. Schiff have a spellchecker along with his no doubt amazing wardrobe?

Needless to say, Schiff received some serious blowback. “Dude, not only is he in a war-zone, where I’m sure it’s hard to get a suit press and dry clean,” one of the more polite responses read, “but even if it was possible, it’s favorable for people to see him as one of them sharing the struggle.” When Schiff realized his mistake, he apologized and backed down from it, of course.

No, I’m just kidding. He doubled down. He’s a Republican hack after all. It’s what they do. They say incredibly stupid things and then never admit they’re wrong, while expecting the rest of us to be apologize for doing actual good things like saving lives, like encouraging people to wear masks during a pandemic, and so on. Here’s what Schiff said in response: “He would not have had to press a suit. I’m sure he had a clean suit hanging in the same closet as his t-shirts. Plus even if there were not suits available, maybe a long-sleeved shirt with a collar.” No really. He really wrote that. I’m not making it up.

This criticism is compliments of the new Republican narrative, trickling down from Donald Trump’s love for the “genius” Vladimir Putin and his hatred of President Zelenskyy, who refused to announce an investigation into Hunter Biden. (Not conduct an investigation, just announce one). Republicans now regard it as their Trump-given duty to praise Putin whenever possible and criticize Zelenskyy whenever possible. Peter Schiff is no exception. Republicans are, after all, nothing more than a bunch of Trump-licking drones.

There are a million stories in the naked city of clownish Republican stupidity. This has been another one. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.