Donald Trump goes full Weekend at Bernie’s

| 10:45 pm EST January 20, 2018
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Now that Donald Trump’s rapidly declining mental faculties have resulted in the federal government being shut down for no good reason, most Americans are squarely blaming him for the debacle. His White House senior staff, or what’s left of his staff after a year of controversial resignations and firings with virtually no replacements, has begun scrambling to create the appearance that Trump is doing something during this shutdown of his own making. The results are shaping up like Weekend at Bernie’s.

No, we’re not talking about Bernie Sanders, who is as outraged about this pointless shutdown as you are. We’re talking about the 1989 movie Weekend at Bernie’s, in which a group of hapless guys have to spend the weekend trying to prop up a corpse in order to trick onlookers into believing that the corpse is still alive. If we’re exaggerating by comparing this to Trump’s situation, we’re not exaggerating by much. Trump’s people just released this photo in an attempt at convincing us that he’s hard at work during the shutdown:

Does he look alive to you? Is that a wax dummy? That’s not how anyone holds a phone while they’re talking on it. It’s as if they glued the phone into his hand to create the appearance that he’s still functioning. Come to think of it, why is there nothing on his Oval Office desk but a phone and a Sharpie? Have they been trying to get him to sniff the Sharpie in the hope he’ll perk up? It gets worse. Trump’s people also posted this photo:

Apparently we’re supposed to believe that Donald Trump being “hard at work” consists of him standing lifelessly with his hands in his pockets while his remaining staffers laugh at him. Is that him or the same wax dummy that Madame Tussaud’s placed outside the U.S. Embassy in London last week? Or did Trump’s staffers just prop up his unconscious body after he fell into a Diet Coke coma? Trump has gone full Weekend at Bernie’s.