Unhinged Donald Trump declares himself the imaginary winner of his own golf tournament, goes nuts about how he didn’t cheat

| 12:14 am EDT August 27, 2023
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Donald Trump is on borrowed time perhaps more than anyone in recent memory. He’s on bail awaiting four criminal trials which will put him in prison for the rest of his life. So what’s he doing to try to save himself? Well, nothing.

Trump is now wasting what little time he has remaining as a free man, preferring to spend it pretending he’s winning golf tournaments. No really, he’s that far gone. He just declared himself the winner of a tournament he hosted:

“I am pleased to report, for those that care, that I just won the Senior Club Championship (must be over 50 years old!) at Bedminster (Trump National Golf Club), shooting a round of 67. Now, some people will think that sounds low, but there is no hanky/lanky. Many people watch, plus I am surrounded by Secret Service Agents. Not much you can do even if you wanted to, and I don’t. For some reason, I am just a good golfer/athlete – I have won many Club Championships, and it is always a great honor!”

This is some Kim Jong Un level stuff, with the distinct difference being that Kim still has a job. Trump has spent the past two and a half years being the world’s most powerless man, and is facing a ticking clock for prison. Yet he’s out there hyping up laugh out loud fictional stories about shooting a 67 on the golf course (this is the kind of score that profesional golfers often struggle to achieve).

Throw in the part where Trump just assumes that everyone will think he cheated, and preemptively offers up a defense for it, and this whole thing is unwitting comedy gold.

Make no mistake: by focusing on this kind of delusional nonsense, Donald Trump is throwing away what little is left of his life. It’s his way of admitting that he knows it’s all over for him. If he thought there were any chance of saving himself, he’d be working on that, instead of comforting himself with golf championship delusions on his way down.