Donald Trump tweets bizarre response after Rudy Giuliani rats him out on national television

| 7:07 am EDT May 3, 2018
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We knew that Donald Trump would have a pretty bad go of it on Twitter this morning, after his new “attorney” Rudy Giuliani went on Fox news last night and admitted that Trump reimbursed Michael Cohen for the $130,000 he paid to Trump’s former mistress Stormy Daniels. In so doing, Rudy confessed that Trump committed multiple felonies. Now that Trump is awake and tweeting, we’re honestly not sure what to make of the three tweets he just posted.

Trump has begun tweeting something written in overly stiff legalese, which sounds like it was written by an attorney. It starts off with “Mr. Cohen, an attorney, received a monthly retainer, not from the campaign and having nothing to do with the campaign, from which he entered into, through reimbursement, a private contract between two parties, known as a non-disclosure agreement, or NDA.” This obviously wasn’t written by Trump himself. So who’s writing this? Did Rudy write it? Is this the work of Trump’s newly hired impeachment lawyer Emmet Flood? Did Trump turn into a robot overnight?

Trump kept going with the legalese: “These agreements are very common among celebrities and people of wealth. In this case it is in full force and effect and will be used in Arbitration for damages against Ms. Clifford (Daniels). The agreement was used to stop the false and extortionist accusations made by her about an affair despite already having signed a detailed letter admitting that there was no affair.” Wait, so now Trump and his newly revamped legal team are claiming that the affair never happened, yet Trump reimbursed Cohen after he paid her off?

Donald Trump kept tweeting: “Prior to its violation by Ms. Clifford and her attorney, this was a private agreement. Money from the campaign, or campaign contributions, played no roll in this transaction.” Wait a minute, here, Trump just tweeted “roll” when he meant “role.” That’s a typical Trump spelling failure, the kind that autocorrect doesn’t catch. Did Trump’s new lawyer throw in this mistake to try to convince us that Trump wrote this? If so, it didn’t work Trump didn’t write one word of this legal soup. We don’t know what’s going on there.