Turns out the real world views things very differently than the media

In this brave new Orwellian world of doublethink, is it possible that President Joe Biden actually won the presidential debate? Let me put that another way, why in the name of hell do we think that the President of the United States, with his magnificent four year record of triumph upon triumph, did more poorly than the murdering, raping, convicted felon and pathological liar? What are we, nuts? I’ll ask it again, did Biden win the debate?

Well, according to Northeastern University’s Civic Health and Institutions Project for 50 states poll (CHIP50), the answer is yes. By a narrow margin, to be sure, but yes. Biden won the debate.

The poll is a little different from your standard poll. And that’s a good thing. It makes the poll quite a lot narrower and to the point and accurate than most polls. What they did at NU’s CHIP50 is, before the debate, they asked a specific set of Americans who they were going to vote for and recorded their answers next to their names. Then, immediately after the debate, they asked the exact same people the exact same question: who are you going to vote for now?

It turns out that Joe Biden retained 94% of his vote. (Before you panic, remember, that’s just six points below the maximum. You can’t retain more than 100% of a vote.) But get this, according to CHIP50, the convicted felon Donald Trump retained only 86% of his vote! That’s right, Biden lost 6%, but Trump lost 14%!

What does that mean in the semi-scientific world of polls? Northeastern University professor David Lazer explains it this way: “What we see is that there is some churn –– maybe 10 percent or so of people change what they answer –– but that the net result is not a movement away from Biden,” Lazer says. “If anything, it seems that Biden is holding on to his people somewhat better than Trump.”

Let’s just say that again, shall we? Biden is holding on to his people somewhat better than Trump. Okay, if Biden is holding on to his people somewhat better than Trump, how come we have this endless goddamned narrative about how Biden should step down “for the good of the country”? Maybe we’re asking the wrong question. Maybe Trump should step down “for the good of the country,” yeah? How’s that for a narrative?

How come the guy who lost the CHIP50 poll isn’t even being mentioned in this narrative? You know, the convicted felon? The rapist? How come the New York Times is on a crusade to get the most successful president in my lifetime to step down instead of the twice-impeached Covid murderer? Why? Is it because Biden had a slightly LESS shitty night than the 34 count felon and rapist, according to CHIP50? Is It because Biden did slightly better than the children’s cancer charity thief? What the hell kind of logic is that? Shouldn’t the New York Times be asking Trump to step down instead?

And why are the likes of George Clooney and Stephen King joining in this insane chorus? Why must I endure the endless refrain of dozens of my social media friends, who I used to think were sane, beating the same goddamned drum day and night? I don’t remember them being this rabid before about other things.

Shouldn’t we be worried about the guy whose organisation has written a manifesto twice as long and twice as bloody as Mein Kampf, laying out step by step how Trump and Trump’s people plan to kick millions of people out of the country and imprison or even murder dissenters? Shouldn’t we be worried about the guy who promised to destroy the Constitution? Shouldn’t we be wondering about the guy who promised to become a dictator on day one of his presidency? Have we, in short, lost our goddamned minds?

It may be too late to change this ridiculous narrative, but we can fight against it. Start spreading the news: according to the CHIP50 poll, Biden did slightly better. So let’s leave it at that and move on. We have a President to re-elect. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.