Three strikes and you’re Ted Cruz

| 9:30 pm EDT May 6, 2022
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Have you ever been in a labyrinth? They’re such confusing places — and trying to get out of them can be a challenge. And there is one Senator — who got caught in a labyrinth. It was a labyrinth of incoherent babble. That is Senator Rafael Cruz.

Many reporters look for interesting stories, and Rafael is often happy to help them out by being the punchline in said stories. This event was no different in that regard.

On Capitol Hill, a tired-looking Rafael attempted to verbally battle some mischievous Reporters who were committing a serious grievance — that grievance was — they were making sense.

Cruz has been adamant that the Supreme Court leak was from a Democrat. But the thing is — Rafael has no evidence. In fact, nobody really knows anything about WHO leaked and what their motive might have been.

Yet that has not stopped the Mariachi fan from appearing all over the place, in righteous indignation, saying it must be a Democrat.

So these reporters simply challenged him. Why do you think it was a liberal clerk? Have you evidence? Rafael went into meltdown mode.

It must have been a long time coming. All the slights — all the jokes at his expense. This kind of meltdown was always going to happen, and today was as good a day as any, I suppose, for Rafael to let sanity slip from his fingers.

“Because I’m not a moron,” Cruz yelped. “I live on planet earth.”

“Come on, you’re a reporter in Washington DC.” The reporter was not moved. In fact, he suggested what many have been saying — that it was a Conservative who leaked. Rafael did not like that notion, so he melted down AGAIN. That’s two strikes, Rafael.

“You know what,” he spluttered. “I, I, I find that ludicrous.” (I don’t.)

“Maybe you’ll win a Pulitzer for that,” he shot back stupidly. The reporter reminded Cruz he had no evidence. “I think it’s obvious what’s going on here,” said Rafael, proceeding to have a third meltdown. Three strikes, and you’re out.

Cruz then insisted that the FBI was possibly going to get involved. He offered no evidence of THAT either except to say the two words one should NEVER say in DC politics:
“I’ve heard.” So once again, Rafael got owned. Who knows? Perhaps he is still sputtering on the Capitol steps even now.