There’s something very wrong with this guy

| 11:19 pm EDT September 22, 2022
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We’ve had 1984. We’ve had — and have — Handmaid’s Tale. But there is a new subject that has arrived and is worth talking about. “Carrie” has arrived in America — or at least on Sean Hannity’s show. It was a dark night when Sean Hannity sat down to interview the chief operating officer of insurrections.

Perhaps a flash of lightning heralded Trump’s appearance. The feeling in the air was an ominous one. Perhaps it was always going to come to this. Dark Donnie had tried so many different excuses to attempt to justify his stealing precious secrets. The documents are declassified! I have the power! He’d rambled on and on, but nothing had worked.

And on this darkest of nights, with the eyes of his cult (and many snarky writers like me) on him, Trump was about to make a startling declaration. I can declassify documents, Trump told Sean Hannity solemnly. Just by thinking about it. Twitter exploded. It didn’t even take a full sixty seconds.

And why WOULDN’T Twitter be talking about this? It isn’t often a former President proudly claims he has telekinesis. As Hannity looked on dumbly, Trump proudly declared he could declassify anything just by mere thought.

And what reactions there were! Of course, questions were asked. Several people wanted to know if this trick works with voting as well. Can ANYONE just vote — with their minds?

And then of course, there is the problem of OTHERS who may have this gift. Because if Trump can declassify with his mind — Biden can reclassify with HIS mind.

Many expressed deep concern for Extreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, who likely was horrified at the announcement of a telepathic Trump. After all, in the olden days, there was name for those people, which was witchcraft. And as we all know, Alito appears to have a running fixation with the subject.

And Trump wasn’t done adding that perhaps the FBI was really looking for Hillary Clinton’s emails, proving that Trump can’t possibly be Telekinetic because one would have to have a brain for that, and Trump is sadly lacking in that department.

What’s next? Will Trump come out and say he has the ability to make himself invisible? Perhaps he will say he can fly like Superman. In the non-mind of Trump, just about anything is possible.