The incredible shrinking House Republican majority
When 2025 rolls around, House Speaker Mike Johnson might ruefully yearn for the yesteryears of 2024. This is because of the new House majority — the SMALLEST majority in political history. The final House race has been called. That race was won by Democrat Adam Gray of California. Congratulations, Mr. Gray!
So now the party’s over, and the host looks dismayed at the stragglers left over. And sees to his utter horror that the house has shrunk — to the tiniest, wispiest majority in history.
Once Mike Waltz and Elise Stefanik leave, Johnson will find himself presiding over a tiny withered corn husk of a majority where losing even one vote could strike terror in him as that would mean a possible,ominous call from big chief orange thundercloud.
Since Johnson’s job is to support Trump in every meaningful way possible, this situation he is left with is not causing him to whistle Dixie. 217-215. That is what the majority will look like until new elections can be held to replace the runaway Representatives.
And even once those vacancies are filled, Jonson will not be able to lose more than a few votes—three to be exact. But the House is indeed a wheel of fortune. One never knows when it will spin and where it will land. This is because this particular caucus is filled to the top with rot — the rot of a bunch of idiotic agenda-filled morons who seem to enjoy infighting far more than ever doing anything to help the American people.
You can see the problem, I’m sure. With this caucus, mayhem can break out at any time. Think of the GOP House Caucus as a slot machine—it sits there, a mad gleam whirling from it, awaiting its lever to be pulled, giving it a chance to spin madly and make some noise. The problem of course is that one has no idea WHAT on earth is going to come out of LA Machine . Will Johnson strike gold or will he receive only some tiny dismal trump-change?
So yes, Mike Johnson of the soft drawl and the creepy beliefs now has to put those beliefs in his own caucus—beliefs that they will docilely obey his every command, always voting in unison, one tight and loving family unit, one for all and all for one!
And if Mike Johnson believes THAT, I have something for him for him to buy. It is a great big bridge in Brooklyn and is up for sale! Perhaps Johnson might be interested in buying it? Yes? So, to sum up, this promises to be the most miserable caucus in the history of caucuses. And we are here for it. Boy, are we!
