The 51st state

| 11:59 pm EDT April 22, 2021
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I’m what you might call a number nerd. As such I have a story for just about every number, and my story for the number 51 is that it’s not a prime number. Many people who know what prime numbers are would be surprised to hear this. But the number 51 is evenly divisible by the number 17. Unfortunately it’s only divisible by that number 3 times. Therefore 3 rows of 17 stars won’t work very convincingly on an upgraded American flag should Washington DC become the 51st state.

Not to worry, though, because the 50 stars on the current American flag aren’t arranged in 5 rows of 10 stars either. They’re arranged in alternating, staggered rows of 6 and 5 stars. I’m sure some similarly staggered arrangement can be made to accommodate that 51st star.

That idea became a little closer to reality on Thursday when the House passed a measure to bestow statehood on the District of Columbia. But since the District of Columbia is overwhelmingly Democratic, it is unlikely that the Senate will be able to find the 60 votes needed to overcome an inevitable Republican filibuster. But if by some feat of political legerdemain it should pass and America does have a brand new 51st state, the Senate will be even more firmly in the hands of the Democratic Party. And, of course, Washington DC will almost certainly remain blue for a long, long time thereafter.

That’s why momentum is building for DC statehood. Nationwide movements are springing up as a direct reaction to continued Republican attempts to disenfranchise voters of color. Republican efforts to frustrate Democratic voters have been perhaps too obvious for the sake of their own evil schemes.

Republicans are particularly opposed to DC statehood, for the simple reason so many people of color live there. Representative Mondaire Jones (D – New York) put it this way, “One senate Republican said that DC wouldn’t be a ‘Well-rounded, working class state.’ I had no idea there were so many syllables in the word white.”

Should DC become the 51st state then, who knows, perhaps Puerto Rico will become the 52nd. Puerto Rico would likewise be another blue state. We should be in favor of any measure that keeps power out of the hands of Republicans, and since Republicans are striving to pass on the order of 250 Jim Crow laws nationwide to keep persons of color from voting, they’re in no position to cry fowl when we pay them right back for their despicable schemes by using lawful and moral methods to achieve our aims.

But, like I said, Republicans should be very careful. Because if they complain too much we just might find a way to turn the United States Supreme Court from 9 justices into 13 justices. And wouldn’t that be something? And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.