Ted Cruz’s Big Bird debacle is blowing up in his face

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There are many creative terms with which to describe Texas non-Senator Ted Cruz. Idiotic is one. Despicable is another. A true birdbrain in every sense of the word, Cruz is one of those people who reportedly is deeply disliked by almost everybody, including many members of his own party — and definitely by Big Bird.

I definitely would not want to be Ted Cruz. Cruz has been worse than usual lately. His feckless decision to go after Big Bird cost him any lingering respect the Senator didn’t have. And now, there is some news on Big Bird’s revenge.

Mr. Cruz has a challenger for his Texas Senate seat. He’s not up for reelection in 2022, but we’ll let that slide for now as his challenger is quite the wise candidate. That challenger is Big Bird. Yes, the fluffy yellow bird is currently on the campaign trail.

Aided in his quest for the Texas seat is his campaign manager, the cookie monster. If you’d like to follow the Texas candidate on Twitter, hit him up at @SenatorBigBird. Of course, this is a parody! But it is a pretty FUN parody, and aspiring Senator Big Bird has been unrelenting in his desire to unseat the uncouth Mr. Cruz. That’s what you get for messing with Big Bird.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.