Susan Collins cuts and runs
The news came out of Washington, as the person this particular tidbit was about, undoubtedly wanted to make her opinion known to the American people as soon as humanly possible. And so she did. Here is what was said: Susan Collins is concerned.
Wow. That’s original! I mean — have YOU ever heard THOSE words from Susan Collins before? In the wake of what just may be the most nightmarish scandal for the Trump administration, Susie wants the people to know she is so concerned—really, she is. She is QUAKING with concern and make no bones about it; she will get to the bottom of this! Right. “Dead weight.”
Collins is in trouble, and THAT should concern her. She is not meeting the voters where they are. Susie seems to be in hiding. To partially quote the wonderful band, U2, “it’s cold out outside, but it’s hot in here” for Susan Collins.
“Where are you?” The people are crying for her, wintry calls on a snowy day- Susan! Where ARE you? “Unreachable.” Her constituents have taken to having town halls with paper cutouts of the concerned Collins. But the actual HUMAN Collins does not seem to want to show up. “It’s been impossible to communicate,” one of her constituents explained.
Susan must hear the sounds of the Maine children crying—HER children—the children of Maine who want and need to hear from their senator, but alas! Susie has disappeared. I hope she wasn’t accidentally shipped to a Salvadorian prison on one of the Musk administration’s planes.
“Vote her out.” Collins hasn’t had a town hall in 25 years! Some of her constants angrily told reporters. Collins is like some relic of times past—her shadow is far, far away, out to sea, and no amount of calling, it seems, will bring it back.
Su-san, where ARE you? A new PPP Poll says it is VOTERS who are concerned — about Susan Collins. Her approval rating at the time of this writing stands at 24%! Vote her out. We will try. I know what you’re thinking. Why wasn’t she voted out LAST time?
We have ranked-choice voting to thank for that, plus one of her competitors was from away. Look, we are going to need a GREAT dynamic candidate to do this. That candidate will need to take Susie on directly. It cannot be a meek person. We need a firecracker.
In the poll I mentioned above, people say she has let them down. I get that. Her voters are gracefully showing up at town halls saying, where’s Susie? There have even been protesters outside her office — but little Susie refuses to meet with them.
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your concerned air. It is an absolute fiasco. But here is the truth — I think Susie does all this because she is sure of herself — too sure. She thinks she can bullshit her voters, lie to them, and they will just take it. After all — where IS she? Where the heck IS SHE? Not addressing her voters — that you can be sure of.
