Steve Bannon tried to pick his own prison – and couldn’t even pull that off

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The eye of the insane tornado that is Steve Bannon’s life has descended into complete lunacy. Bannon has recently shown us that the thing that’s supposed to be his brain is set to join Donald Trump in brain purgatory.

He has completely lost it since he was ordered to report to prison. I suppose Stevie really thought it could not happen to him. Well, it has. Now, though, Bannon has suffered yet ANOTHER disappointment in a slew of them. It’s being reported that Bannon wanted a “club-fed” type of setting. These are the most laid-back, comfy, and cozy types of holding facilities.

Perhaps Stevie dreamed of quality food and quality people he could then bond with. Possibly willow trees and warm, comfortable evenings playing cards were in his periphery as he hungered for info on where his person would be placed. Guess what? He didn’t get his wish.

Nope. Bannon is being told he will serve his sentence in a federal prison in Connecticut — the same one made famous in “Orange is the New Black.” Orange is the new Bannon. Oh no! I would not want to be around Stevie when he hears THIS. At this point, I’d not be surprised to find Steve Bannon’s picture next to the dictionary definition of “Psycho.”

So what’s this prison all about? Well — lots of white-collar criminals are housed there. SO are some violent sex offenders. Welcome to prison, little Stevie. It turns out Bannon isn’t eligible to be sent to the club fed of his dreams because he still has a pending criminal case. Gosh darn it, Stevie! If you hadn’t broken the law MULTIPLE TIMES, perhaps your prison dream would have come true.