Sorry Donald Trump, that one won’t fly

| 3:05 pm EDT April 3, 2024
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

What do Guy Reschenthaler of Pennsylvania, Chuck Fleischmann and Andy Ogles of Tennessee, Paul Gosar of Arizona, Barry Moore of Alabama, Troy Nehls of Texas and Michael Waltz of Florida all have in common? Apart from being incomparably stupid, they are sponsoring signatories to a Senate bill renaming Dulles International Airport after Donald Trump.

In an orgy of mass delusion, these seven Republican mental dwarves hope to also garner the loving attention of their beloved Fuhrer and all of the drooling cretins of his slavish MAGA cult. It’s a textbook case of whorehouse politics, done in the midst of Trump’s four criminal indictments.

Naming Washington’s premier airport after one of the world’s most hated career criminals was Guy Reschenthaler’s brain dead idea. “In my lifetime,” Reschenthaler gushed to Fox News, “our nation has never been greater than under the leadership of President Donald J Trump.”

Reschenthaler enlarged on his lunacy by adding, “As millions of domestic and international travellers fly through the airport, there is no better symbol of freedom, prosperity and strength than hearing ‘Welcome to Trump international airport’ as they land on American soil.” Presumably these referenced travellers will “fly through the airport” on drugs, possibly of the variety frequently used by Don Jr.

Barry Moore of Alabama added, “In 1998, Congress renamed the National airport in Washington after one of our great presidents, Ronald Reagan.” I hate to instruct the clueless Senator from Alabama on airport geography at my current remove from England, but I believe Reagan Airport is in Virginia, not Washington. Also, Reagan did many awful things, but he wasn’t a rapist or a traitor.

Surely these gormless idiots know that their bill has neither a thought nor a prayer of passing? Well, maybe not Paul Gosar. But the rest?

This shameless fluster cluck of mass self-immolation does have its limited advantages. It could cause embarrassment for the Republican Party if Republican House leaders put it to a vote. Republicans voting against it will be vilified by their more extreme constituents.

On the negative side it will give each sycophantic bill-supporting Senatorial whore a leg up on the approval of Donald Trump, guaranteeing that they will probably be among the last people Trump betrays before he goes to prison. Or before he dies. It will also endear them to the Trump-venerating MAGA morons in their states. No doubt they will crow about their sponsorship of this stillborn bill in their monthly newsletters home.

There are eight million stories in the naked city of creepy Trump sycophancy, this has been one of them. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.