Something is wrong with Lindsey Graham
It’s finally happened, folks. Lindsey Graham, South Carolina senator has lost his mind. It happened on Thursday night. Lindsey Graham chose to appear on Fox non-news, where he proceeded to show the world the meaning of the word “issues.”
Graham was talking about Herscel Walker. You know the man best known for reportedly holding his ex-wife at gunpoint, having a dazzling array of various personalities, and pretending to be a police officer. Lindsey pleaded with Fox audience viewers to help Walker.
“They’re trying to destroy Herschel,” Lindsey whimpered. And make no mistake, it was a whimper — a whimper that went on for a painfully long time as Lindsey finally found his voice — as Herschel Walker’s protector in chief. “We need to have his back.”
As Graham’s plea went on, it became apparent that Lindsey Graham was perhaps in need of an intervention. “Herschel walker is a nightmare for liberals.” Graham appeared untethered and unable to stop as he went on and on — and on.
And then something stunning happened. Graham’s lip started to quiver, his eyes misted up, and he appeared to be — crying? “They have belittled him. Stand by Herschel tonight.” I am sure all over America; there was a moment of silence as people tried to figure out what in hell was going on.
“Team Herschel.”
Sit down, Lindsey.
“Team Herschel,” he said again.
Lindsey, it’s time to acknowledge you have — well — issues.
“Stand by Herscel tonight.”
Does anybody have smelling salts?
“We must help people like Herscel.”
Calm yourself.
“If you can give,” he said tearfully, “give.”
Give the man some kleenex, please.
“We must help people like Herscel!”
Thank you, Pastor Graham!
“For the future of conservatism!”
Are we trapped in a nightmare?
On Twitter, the mood was — weird?
“What the heck is going on?”
“a crying televangelist is asking for money.”
“I can’t. I JUST can’t.”
“The town crier.”
“Could Herschel Walker be Lindsey’s father?”
“snot is running down his nose.”
“Could Elon have just fired him?”
“This is a midterm bonus I never counted on.”
“every time Lindsey cries, I’m donating to Warnock.”
“This just cured my depression.”
“what is HAPPENING to him?”
“Don’t forget, Lindsey — Georgia”
I’d say Graham lost his mind entirely with this one. More and more, day by day, little Lindsey is losing it. The question now is who will he cry for next.
