SIX WEEKS

Six weeks! Wh-wh-what? I want a national abortion ban! I mean — I dunno. Whatever we can get passed. It’s a deeply controversial issue. And I have nothing to say about it until I hear what my competitors say.

Abortion should be outlawed entirely. Readers, these are fictional statements above — in a way. The fact is that most of this Gobbledygook has been uttered by a Republican or two at some point.

Long agonizing pauses. Sputtering. It appears the cat got the tongue of the GOP on this question. Abortion, dear readers. Abortion has turned the GOP into stammering red-faced cartoon characters. They’re giving different answers to the question: where do YOU stand on abortion?

Uh…well—you know…UMMMM…..I think that —

It’s the case of the vanishing Republican tongues. Nobody has the same opinion. Nobody can come to an agreement as to what their abortion platform will be. Pence wants abortion wholly eliminated. Haley wants whatever will get her the most votes. Tim Scott has no idea where his tongue went on the question.

DeSantis says SIX weeks. Trump is too busy raging against his enemies to say what he wants. This is how they usually start when asked the question They fumble. They cannot get it together on this question, which shows how deeply in disarray the whole party is.

You’d think they’d have practiced. They would have been ready for the conversation. As Republicans are confronted with the question, wherever they go, and whenever they do, they are slowly coming to sound a bit like Porky Pig.

They simply blank out and fade to dust when asked the question that every Republican quivers just thinking about. WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT ABORTION? Hesitations, Faltering. Word salads that make no sense, like the one Tim Scott gave.

It’s the question that is NOT making the GOP go Yabba Dabba-Doo. But it is coming to you. It will be delightfully amusing watching Republicans attempt in vain to answer this question on the debate stage.