Donald Trump’s stooge Sean Spicer crashes and burns

| 11:45 pm EDT September 16, 2019
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Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer should have gone to prison for conspiring with Donald Trump to commit felony obstruction of justice. That didn’t happen. But if we have to accept a consolation prize when it comes to his punishment, his turn on Dancing With The Stars might serve as a close second.

Make no mistake: Sean Spicer should not be on Dancing With The Stars. He lied to the American people in order to protect a traitorous illegitimate president from criminal prosecution. Spicer shouldn’t be able to so much as show up at a McDonald’s without facing peaceful protesters who are there to remind him of the evil he participated in. But ABC made the inexcusable decision to cast the scumbag on what’s supposed to be a fun reality show, and so all we could hope for was that it went poorly for him.

Sean Spicer didn’t disappoint. He showed up in a yellowish-greenish ruffled outfit whose color we’re told is known as neon chartreuse. Some observers commented on social media that he looked like Big Bird, but to us it looked more like Spicer had just finished walking through a nuclear reactor while it was melting down.

Moreover, Sean Spicer looked every bit as wooden during his dancing – if you could call what he was doing “dancing” – as one might have expected. The judges rated him poorly, and hopefully he’ll be voted off the show soon. Wait, scratch that. Part of us would like to see Spicer stick around for a few weeks, just so he keeps humiliating himself. Seemingly half of Trump’s political advisers have gone to prison, but we’re thinking Spicer’s outfit tonight might have been an even worse punishment.