Rudy Giuliani suffers a whole new malfunction

On Thursday evening, as the walls were closing in so tightly on Donald Trump that it may have been time to change the name of Trump Tower to Trump Broom Closet, we saw Rudy Giuliani making a major announcement on Trump’s behalf. The timing was odd to say the least, and if the announcement was meant to send shockwaves, it did no such thing. Rudy then proceeded to completely screw it up anyway.

Rudy announced that, after months of hemming and hawing, Donald Trump had definitively decided that he would not answer any of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s questions about obstruction of justice. Mueller had recently offered to let Trump answer some of them in writing, but even the prospect of a take-home test wasn’t enough to convince Trump to risk perjuring himself. But as Palmer Report and some other political analysts pointed out, this would only allow Mueller to complete the obstruction investigation more swiftly, and thus make his big move on Trump sooner.

Perhaps Giuliani got wind of this, because by the time the sun came up on Friday, he had changed his story multiple times while talking to different news outlets. Was he backtracking because he realized his initial announcement was a bad strategic move, or was he changing his story because Trump was changing his mind? There’s no way to know that answer for sure. After all, Rudy is representing a client whose basic cognitive abilities have deteriorated to the point that he slurs his way through speeches which largely consist of random words that don’t go together, and he no longer has the ability to say the word “anonymous.”

By the end of the day, Rudy Giuliani apparently decided to give up and simply change the subject. He launched a Twitter attack, insisting that “the anonymous author of Times op-ed is undermining the decisions of the lawfully elected President.” It’s almost as if Rudy forgot that Donald Trump, who illegally conspired with the Russian government to alter the outcome of the election, and who violated federal election laws by buying the silence of people involved in his personal scandals during the campaign, is anything but a “lawfully elected President.”