Robert Trump dies as his sociopathic brother Donald Trump goes golfing with former football player

| 11:46 pm EDT August 15, 2020
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When Donald Trump visited his dying brother Robert Trump in New York earlier this week, we cynically pointed out that Donald was surely doing it either just for the sake of appearances, or for some nefarious purposes. Certainly, a depraved sociopath like Donald couldn’t have actually felt human emotion toward his ailing brother.

Sure enough, Donald Trump proved us right today when he went golfing with former NFL kicker Jay Feely, a far-right stooge. Feely proudly tweeted photos of himself with Trump on the golf course. Then came the news that Robert Trump had indeed passed away today.

That’s right, even though Donald Trump went to visit Robert Trump in the hospital, he couldn’t be bothered to stick around a little longer in order to be there with Robert when he died. And we know darn well that Donald didn’t bail because he had to get back to presidential matters, considering he went golfing instead.

Notably, weeks ago Donald Trump announced that he would be throwing out the first pitch at a New York Yankees game on August 15th. Once the Yankees let it be known that they had no idea what Trump was talking about, Trump suddenly announced that he was “canceling” the imaginary photo op because he was going to have too many coronavirus meetings that day. For the record, today is August 15th, and Trump was golfing instead of attending any meetings.