Republicans try to catch the tiger by the tail

| 6:18 pm EDT June 17, 2023
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As we head into July, it’s important to ask ourselves a question. What are REPUBLICANS doing to make this world a better place? The answer is nothing. Over the last few months, the GOP has revealed themselves to be a crazed group of goofballs. The slightest event triggers them, they are deeply phobic of — well, people, and they can’t string two sentences together about how they would help this country.

But there is something haunting Republicans. This something appears to be an enemy to Republicans. There is increased chatter about this enemy, and Republicans — many of them — seem to have decided to go all in, fighting this enemy, this monster, this dark force that refuses to leave them alone.

Who is this enemy? It is Tony the Tiger. It would seem the dashing Tiger is on the GOP’s shit-list because Transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney had her picture taken with the striking charmer. And faster than one could, “paper tiger” Republicans were triggered.

This picture happened at the Tony Awards. As you likely know, Tony the Tiger represents Frosted Flakes, a cereal that I have to say is quite delicious. “Folks, we have a new boycott to add to the list,” conservative strategist Joey Mannarino posted on Twitter. “You associate with Dylan Mulvaney, and you’re done with me.”

What a mature adult-like thing to say! What a guy! “Go woke, go broke,” many enraged Maga tweeted. And right-wing newspapers even published a few stories about — a picture! One single image of a charming person with a charming tiger.

“Is Kellogg’s next?” the New York Post asked, referring to the legendary Republican boycotts. Ron Smith, another conservative activist, says this picture is the proof Republicans needed that “they’re coming for your kids.” I imagine many reading this article had their jaws drop and perhaps even thought this was a joke. I assure you it is not.

Anyone who enjoys breakfast cereal, stock up on Frosted Flakes! Tony the Tiger has been with us all forever. We must protect him from the vicious boycott!

Just kidding. (sort of.) This boycott will go nowhere. The GOP never seems to get tired of showing the world their insane hangups and revulsion toward anything that isn’t a white Christian man, and they are strongly starting to resemble people in need of deep, deep psychiatric help. In the meantime, the Tiger is just fine! The GOP won’t catch THIS Tiger by the tail.