Republican Senator Bill Cassidy just took the cake

| 12:01 pm EDT June 1, 2022
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Congratulations to Senator Bill Cassidy. I say this because he has won the stupid award. This would be the stupid award for worst excuse EVER why we need AR-15’s. To tell the truth, I was surprised by just how bizarre this comment was. Which only proves there is really no end to the craziness of the gun-crazy old party.

Cassidy, for whatever reason, granted an interview with Vice News. And, of course, Vice asked him about banning these deadly weapons. He was asked why. Why on earth would someone even NEED an AR-15 if not to kill. This writer is almost embarrassed to type out of Cassidy’s response. This is because Cassidy came off looking foolish, as an astounded Twitter was quick to tell him.

The reason we need AR-15’s? Feral pigs. You heard me. Cassidy (insurrection party, feral pig fan, Louisiana) then went on to wax poetic about feral pigs and what it all means. “I use it to to kill feral pigs,” Cassidy explained. The “it” he is referring to are AR-15’s. “The action of a criminal deprives me of my right.”

The right to bear arms? Because of feral pigs? Let us break down together the profound intellectual depth and the meaning of this deep explanation. First off, I must give a shout-out to Momus. Momus was, in Greek mythology, a God or Spirit of the “personification of satire and mockery.” I think Senator Cassidy might possibly be able to give him a run for his money.

Secondly, I am so deeply sorry that Cassidy might be deprived of his right to shoot pigs if we saved the children. I truly am. On Twitter, piggy memes exploded as a fascinated Twitter wasted no time immortalizing Senator Cassidy’s words for all social media to see.

I suppose one day, years from now, as accomplished and scholarly historians look back on the fools of today, they will most likely devote some time to Mr. Cassidy. I want to ask Senator Cassidy a question. What means more to you? Shooting feral pigs or saving the lives of babies? I suppose we don’t have to ask. He has already given us his answer.