Republican Party meeting turns into brawl

| 8:20 pm EDT July 10, 2023
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I imagine the call may have gone something like this: “Police? I’d like to report a disturbance.” Police: “Where?” “The Doherty Hotel.” “A bunch of people are beating the stuffing out of each other.”

Indeed this little fight DID happen. It happened in Michigan. And this hotel was where Republicans were presumably having a meeting. The meeting was supposed to be about the direction of the party. Instead it turned out to be about the direction of a Republican leg, that according to people there, was directed at a lower part of a Republican person.

“He kicked me in the balls!!” Yes, there was a fight going on and yes, reportedly someone got kicked in the balls. This is the grand-slam old party. It all started with some republicans being shut out of the meeting. It was only for members of the state committee they were told.

And that pissed some of them off. They’d traveled far to take part in this meeting. So some republicans attempted to enter by jiggling the doorknob. How original. As the knob continued to jiggle, Mark DeYoung, who is the Chairman of the Clare County Republicans, reportedly opened the door and faster than a speeding insurrectionist, DeYoung was kicked hard — in the balls.

DeYoung confirmed this himself as he spoke from the emergency room. He is blaming it on James Chapman, Wayne County Republican. He also said Chapman “charged him,” slamming his body into a chair.” As a result of this scrimmage, DeYoung now has a broken rib.

Chapman spoke out, admitting he “pushed” DeYoung but claims DeYoung started it by saying: “I’ll kick your ass!”

Such nice people, these Republicans. Just the type of man one would want to bring home to Mom and Dad. DeYoung denied saying he wanted to kick any ass. Chapman also said he removed his glasses because “When you see me taking my glasses off, I’m ready to rock.” A complaint was also filed but the police have declined to offer any information about it.