“Pudding Fingers” rides again

| 6:00 pm EDT April 7, 2024
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Pudding Fingers. You thought you’d heard the last of him — didn’t you? Alas, that is not to be. But the good news is, we’re only hearing about the pudding man because he is reportedly FURIOUS.

That’s because of two things. They are causing the dour Florida governor much anger. These two things sparkle like shimmering crystals, taunting DeSantis, getting in his head, and making him miserable.

Yes, all that glitters is not gold, for the sour-grapes non-Governor, that’s for sure. These two things are Ballot Amendments! Abortion rights. Legal Weed. One angry, worn-out DeSantis. On Monday, the Florida Supreme Court ruled that BOTH of these things can be on the November ballot for all Floridians to see — and vote on.

It is making Ron MISERABLE. “They’re going to fail,” DeSantis screeched at a press conference. Ronny explained that these amendments are too radical for Floridians, and they will not vote for them.

Not so, say many a Floridian. In fact, MANY do plan on voting yes for abortion rights and yes for cannabis. Oh, the misery of DeSantis. Isn’t it a beautiful thing? First his hopes to be President went nowhere. Now he has to watch as his state makes — everyday decisions.

Then Ron, in typical Ron-the weirdo fashion, said something remarkable. He implied his constituents don’t know how to read. Calling the amendments highly “confusing,” DeSantis said many voters will simply “default” on “these things” because they are too confusing.

Way to go, Ron! Calling your own voters stupid will, I’m sure, get you some love. Making matters even more hysterical, five of the Sven Judges who voted for these ballot measures were appointed by Pudding Fingers himself! So, no, Ron is not having a good week as his miserable reign as the worst Governor in Florida’s history lurches toward its blissful end.