PAGING JOHN BOLTON

| 7:31 pm EST November 25, 2019
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Hey there, John Bolton. Just wanted to check in with you quickly. You publicly stated through your attorney that you were looking for guidance from the judge’s ruling in the McGahn case in order to make your own decision about testifying to the House impeachment inquiry. The ruling just came down. So what are you going to do?

Here’s the thing, John. Even if there’s an appeal, you don’t have to wait for it. You were never a party in the McGahn case. You indicated that you simply wanted some kind of legal cover for testifying, and well, now you have it. You can testify tonight if you want, though you should probably give Adam Schiff a heads up first, as he’s probably out celebrating this ruling right now.

Also, John, we all know you’re trying to promote your lucrative upcoming book. We might even buy a copy, if only to see all the dirt you dish out about Donald Trump. That is the reason you’re publishing it, right? You can make a buck off anti-Trump people who want the dirt, and also reestablish yourself as a far-right leader by laying out why you were right about foreign policy and Trump was wrong (we’ll just skip those chapters). The book isn’t ready yet. We get that. But if you screw the country by not testifying because you want to save all of it for the book, we’re not going to buy it when it comes out. By then we won’t care what you have to say.

The thing is, John Bolton, this judge even ruled that executive privilege can be invoked in limited circumstances. This means you can testify now, and as long as you do enough to expose Donald Trump’s crimes on live national television, you can just invoke privilege on the other stuff you want to save for the book. Or whatever, really. We’re not expecting you to do the right thing in the right way for the right reasons. We’re just hoping you’ll do the vaguely right thing because it happens to align with your personal revenge plot and your book deal. You have your ruling now. Please proceed.