Donald Trump goes off a cliff

| 10:45 pm EDT May 5, 2019
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In the midst of Donald Trump’s fake national emergency at the border, and the historically ugly national emergency in which he and his Attorney General have guaranteed themselves an eventual prison sentence in the name of trying to expand their current power, Trump woke up this morning and decided that the real national emergency is in Kentucky. No, check that, he thinks it’s in Kentuky.

Even as Americans were still scratching their heads and wondering what really happened with yesterday’s controversial Kentucky Derby finish, Donald Trump provided a definitive explanation today: “The Kentuky Derby decision was not a good one. It was a rough & tumble race on a wet and sloppy track, actually, a beautiful thing to watch. Only in these days of political correctness could such an overturn occur. The best horse did NOT win the Kentucky Derby – not even close!”

Okay, where do we even start? There is no state named “Kentuky.” Reasonable people can come down on different sides in the debate over how the race’s outcome was decided, but only a complete lunatic would think it has something to do with “political correctness.” And it couldn’t be more fitting that Trump is complaining about the winner having that victory taken away by an obscure ruling body – cough – Electoral College – cough.

Donald Trump has since deleted the “Kentuky” tweet and replaced it with a reference to an actual state named “Kentucky.” But he also went on to rant incoherently this morning about tariffs, spewing the nonsense phrase “325 Billions Dollars” in the process, and he still has yet to delete that one. Also, Trump still thinks China pays U.S. tariffs, when those tariffs are actually paid by the people in the United States who buy those goods. This guy can’t read, write, think, learn, or function. His own personal “Kentuky Derby” has gone right off a cliff.