October surprise!

| 10:04 pm EDT October 14, 2020
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We all keep expecting the scheming Donald Trump campaign to drop a dastardly October surprise on us, in the hope of climbing back into contention in the election. But we’re now nearly halfway through October, and thus far everything Trump and his people have thrown at the wall has been a total dud.

Yesterday it was revealed that Bill Barr’s long running probe into the “unmasking” of Michael Flynn has resulted in no criminal charges against any Obama officials, and not even a report documenting any supposed wrongdoing. Donald Trump spent a long time pushing the “unmasking” conspiracy theory, and yet it’s officially gotten him nowhere. It’s yet another reminder that Bill Barr is quite an ineffective henchmen.

Today Rudy Giuliani took his best swing at making the Hunter Biden scandal a thing, by feeding a false story about it to the New York Post. The whole thing imploded almost immediately, to the point that Twitter ended up banning people from even being able to post the phony story.

Thus far the “October surprise” is that Donald Trump and his idiot henchmen can’t seem to pull one off. There are still twenty days to go until the election, and Trump’s band of goons will surely keep trying. But if what we’re seeing right now was Plan A, we can’t wait to see how massively incompetent their Plan B is.