The show has reached a new low

| 12:16 am EDT September 26, 2018
Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

The current nominee for the Supreme Court now stands accused of sexual assault, attempted rape, and serial gang rape, and tonight’s response by the Republican Party was to go ahead and schedule the committee vote for his confirmation. Except not really, because in addition to being the bottom rung of the human race, the people in charge of this show are also complete idiots.

The GOP-controlled Senate Judiciary Committee announced this evening that the vote on Brett Kavanaugh would promptly take place on Friday, one day after his first accuser testifies, with two other accusers being shut out entirely. But then moments later the titular head of that committee, Chuck Grassley, called his own bluff by tweeting that, no, the vote won’t necessarily happen on Friday. Either he now has multiple personalities, or Mitch McConnell tried to schedule the committee vote behind his back. Grassley, for his part, has more or less given up and now spends most of his time – we’re not kidding – tweeting about squirrels eating corn.

Somewhere in there, the media uncovered that the GOP was secretly planning to hire Rachel Mitchell, a Maricopa County, Arizona prosector with a curiously conspicuous connection to Donald Trump – would be handling the questioning of Kavanaugh and his accuser on Thursday. The Republicans were really, really, really trying to keep her identity from coming out in advance. So, once the Washington Post believed it got ahold of her name, Grassley naturally went ahead and confirmed that it was in fact her. Grassley plays poker by telling his opponents what his cards are, and then getting confused and eating the cards.

That’s right, the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee think they have to bring in a woman to ask another woman about her sexual assault accusations. Maybe they think it’ll play better with the audience watching at home. Then again, maybe it’s just an admission that they just suck at this. Chuck Grassley is only technically still conscious these days. Lindsey Graham has transformed into the world’s most inept villain. Ted Cruz is so unpopular he gets chased out of restaurants by teeming hordes of people. And Orrin Hatch is, well, Orrin Hatch. But that’s okay, because Donald Trump just tweeted that we should “pray for Brett Kavanaugh and his family.” We’re living in the Twilight Zone, if the Twilight Zone were being run by mustache twirling villains who can’t get their act together.