Donald Trump opens his mouth and sends the stock market tumbling

| 1:01 pm EDT June 11, 2019
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Wall Street investors have remained bullish in the 2.5 years since President Obama left office, under the premise that the financially inept Donald Trump wouldn’t be able to completely screw up Obama’s roaring economy. But there are few things that Wall Street hates more than tariffs, and Trump’s growing obsession with that failed experiment keeps causing investors to get nervous. Now Trump has found a new way to screw up the stock market: simply mentioning the stock market.

Right now investors are trying to figure out what to make of Donald Trump’s laughably phony new “deal” with Mexico. Investors clearly don’t care that Trump is a lying idiot. But because the deal is being exposed as a fraud, investors have to worry that Trump might try to distract the public from it by actually hitting Mexican goods with the tariffs that he’s spent the past two weeks bluffing about.

Amidst all this uncertainty, the stock market tried to get off to a good start today, with the Dow Jones climbing out of the gate. But just twenty-five minutes into the day, Trump posted this tweet: “Good day in the Stock Market. People have no idea the tremendous potential our Country has for GROWTH – and many other things!” Immediately afterward, the Dow Jones began dropping, and is now 160 points lower than when Trump posted his tweet.

We’ve now reached the point where big money investors are so weary of Donald Trump’s idiocy, they begin selling off when Trump merely mentions the stock market. Trump literally tweeted “Good day in the Stock Market” and sent the stock market tumbling. That’s a reverse Midas Touch on an impressive level.