Donald Trump takes a swing at the Mayor of London, misses, punches himself in the face, falls down

| 11:38 am EDT September 3, 2019
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Donald Trump woke up today to find the stock market plummeting as a result of his tariffs, a major hurricane bearing down on the United States, and Americans demanding gun reform. Instead of any of that, Trump decided that his focus was going to be an all-out attack on the Mayor of London. It went even worse than you might have expected.

Because Trump is a lazy buffoon who couldn’t care less about the job of being president, he decided to go golfing yesterday instead of focusing on overseeing the government’s hurricane response planning. Just about everyone called him out on it, but Trump decided that the only person he wanted to fight back against was London Mayor Sadiq Khan. Unfortunately for Trump, he ended up attacking some other guy:

The incompetent Mayor of London, Sadique Khan, was bothered that I played a very fast round of golf yesterday. Many Pols exercise for hours, or travel for weeks. Me, I run through one of my courses (very inexpensive). President Obama would fly to Hawaii.

Wait, who is this “Sadique” guy? Trump ended up having to delete the tweet and try again. This comes after Trump attacked ABC News reporter Jon Karl last night while referring to him as “Jonathan Carl.” At this point Donald Trump is just making people up. Perhaps he finds it easier to wage his hallucinatory feuds against people who don’t exist. Then again, last month Trump managed to get his own name wrong, referring to himself as “Donald Ttump.”