Someone get this guy a pacifier

| 6:04 pm EDT September 7, 2019
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Donald Trump didn’t wake up today and begin ranting about his Alabama hurricane scandal, meaning that perhaps he’s finally had enough of it. After all, he forced NOAA to falsely announce yesterday that the hurricane really was going to hit Alabama, and in his delusional mind, he probably sees that embarrassment as a victory. But now Trump has moved on to a whole new round of pathetic petulance.

This morning Trump woke up and retweeted white supremacist Katie Hopkins, posted a strange tweet about Russia and Ukraine that was surely dictated by Vladimir Putin, and went golfing. Okay, that’s all par for the course for him (or in his case, more like triple bogey). But somewhere in there Trump decided that two respected Washington Post reporters, Philip Rucker and Ashley Parker, should be banned from the White House for being “disgusting.”

This comes shortly after the courts ordered that Donald Trump reinstate the press credentials of Brian Karem, who had been suspended for not being nice enough to Trump’s white supremacist pal Sebastian Gorka. But hey, Trump never learns his lesson, and he certainly doesn’t understand how to quit while he’s behind, so maybe he’ll try and fail to get Rucker and Parker kicked out of the White House as well. Not that the Trump regime ever holds White House press briefings these days anyway.

In the afternoon, Donald Trump tweeted a bizarre video in which he bragged about the fantastic jobs report that was just released. The trouble: the new jobs report was actually pretty terrible, coming up far short of expectations, and signaling an economic slowdown. But don’t worry, because a mere sixteen minutes later, Trump retweeted his own video, meaning it has to be true. Also, while this article was being written, Trump began ranting about the Alabama hurricane scandal again, taking the fiasco to day seven. Someone get this guy a pacifier.