Less than zero
The following story is about someone I’ve not written about much. It’s a story of egomania at its finest — and the consequences of such egomania. Dean Phillips, the pathetic Minnesota Congressman who is, for some absurd reason, running against President Biden for the Democratic nomination, which he will not get, had a campaign event.
This event was to be in New Hampshire. Dean, never one to miss the chance to talk about himself, was reportedly looking forward to it. I must pause here to remark on something that any GOOD politician would automatically know.
When the tide is against you, you get out of the water quickly. Dean Phillips is not a good politician. That might be why he found himself in this humiliating position. Philips chose to have his event in Manchester, New Hampshire. He also decided to hand out Duncan Donuts coffees to all who showed up. How sweet of him!
Now — how many do you think showed up? Ten people? Thirty people? The answer is – 0.
Z-E-R-O. That felt good. Let’s repeat it. Z-E-R-O. Not ONE person in the WHOLE STATE of New Hampshire turned to Dean’s event. To my knowledge, this has never happened to any candidate. Well — there’s a first time for everything. And this first of firsts went to Dean.
He tried to be hip about it — and only made things worse. “Sometimes, if you build it, they don’t come,” he said. Oh God. That line is from the beautiful film, “Field of Dreams.’ It appears Dean’s a fan! And on this day, he stayed in the field — alone. He wound up having to give the Duncan coffee to the few staff members that he had. Hello,humiliation.
Immediately on Twitter, Field of Dreams memes began flowing across the site. Now — here’s the thing — if Phillips had one iota of sense, he’d drop out immediately. I mean — when you hold events, and not one person shows up, they’re telling you they’re just not that into you — to put it mildly.
But Dean may carry on! If he does, he stands to have an excellent time crisscrossing the country, talking to himself, and making bad jokes.
