Kevin McCarthy just got destroyed

Dear Palmer Report readers, we all understand the difficult era we're heading into. Major media outlets are caving to Trump already. Even the internet itself and publishing platforms may be at risk. But Palmer Report is nonetheless going to lead the fight. We're funding our 2025 operating expenses now, so we can keep publishing no matter what happens. I'm asking you to contribute if you can, because the stakes are just so high. You can donate here.

Kevin McCarthy has had something happen to him that he should most definitely take notice of. This “something” is Stephen Colbert. It was always going to come to this. Kevin put himself in the comedian’s sight with his ridiculous pretense of looking bored at Biden’s State of the Union speech. He should have known better.

But of course, Kevin never knows better — and that’s his main problem. McCarthy can’t read the room — which is why he’d make a terrible House speaker. As Biden spoke with wisdom and passion, the camera at times cut to Kevin — seemingly engrossed in staring piercingly at his cell phone.

I do wonder what was on the phone. Perhaps he was texting assolini begging forgiveness for being there in the first place. Or maybe he was texting Marjorie Taylor Greene, begging her not to embarrass him yet again (If so, THAT fell on deaf ears.)

Whatever he was or was not texting, Colbert noticed. And faster than one could say, “Oops — Kevin did it again,” Colbert called him out. “Not everyone was focused on the speech. Kevin McCarthy was there but busy looking at his phone. To be fair, today’s Wordle was pretty tricky.” You asked for it, Kevin. And Colbert delivered.

But wait. It gets better. Colbert was not yet done with McCarthy. “Of course, the minority leader in the House not paying attention looked disrespectful. But keep in mind, he might’ve been on Amazon shopping for a spine.”

Sigh. Don’t you just love Stephen Colbert? Seriously. Like the sun, he is always there, ready, willing, and oh so able to shine his wickedly funny snark on hapless cowards like McCarthy.

I doubt even Amazon, who has just about everything, could find a spine for McCarthy. Nor do I think Kevin would accept one if offered — unless, of course, this spine comes with a gigantic photo of Donald Trump.