Kellyanne Conway is at it again

It seems like several (nightmare) lifetimes ago when Kellyanne Conway was gracing the TV with her presence. Fortunately, in recent years, her star has plunged, and we haven’t seen much of the lie. Not LIAR — Lie.

Kellyanne Conway is a walking, talking, stalking LIE. Every word out of the mouth must be fact-checked. One never knows how high the bullshit levels will rise when she speaks, but one can be assured there will be at least a little bullshit.

And yet, I chose to write about her today because Conway is on Capitol Hill. It’s true! She is reportedly there to soften the Republican’s stance on abortion. Now, THAT is funny; a woman — even one as dishonest as Conway will never get through to a misogynist, and the GOP just happens to have oodles of misogynists among their flock.

Nonetheless, Kellyanne is there. And she has a plan. She wants the GOP to talk about contraception instead. This is not a joke. Support widespread access to contraception, Kellyanne is reportedly saying. Let women know you’re on their side! I think Clarence Thomas might like a word on that, Kellyanne.

Now it gets better — much better. It gets better because Kellyanne is being joined in her efforts by Heather Higgins. Who is that, you may ask? Higgins is is a CEO and avid republican superfan. She, too, has a plan for republican men.

She (Higgins) wants Republicans to talk about their love for women. As I write these words, my keyboard starts to tremble a bit. I get it. Republicans loving anyone other than Donald Trump is pretty hard to fathom.

But not for Higgins! She wants republican men to be uncles to women. Again — this is not a joke. Here is the exact quote from Higgins:

“Republicans are like your uncle, who really loves you and loves the women in his family, but he’s bad about showing it.”

“It’s just not in their natural vocabulary.”

“And we ‘re trying to help them learn how to make this be more part of their vocabulary and tell them they need to talk about these things.”

So, let me get this straight. She wants to brand the GOP as — women’s uncles? Uncles are so much fun. I have several uncles. And rest assured, these Uncles would never want to control me and make my medical decisions for me.

So — does this entail hugging? Are commercials to be made with smiling Uncle Graham, Uncle Hawley, and Uncle Gaetz? Perhaps Uncle Abbott (Greg Abbott, one of Texas’s finest Uncles) could join the commercial to talk about all the rapists he’s caught.

But in all seriousness — see what this tells us? It tells us that the GOP is scared shitless. They are SO VERY SCARED, READERS! Scared, and screwed. And Republicans do not “love” women. Republicans don’t even know who and what women are and what they stand for. Good luck Kellyanne and friend, with THIS one.