JD Vance just stepped in it (again)

| 12:01 pm EDT August 2, 2024
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It was always going to happen. In a way, it was inevitable. This is because the ageless, timeless eternal lake that is JD Vance’s stupidity has begun to overflow, water sluicing everywhere. I strongly suggest the Trump team get flood insurance because this flood isn’t going anywhere except to rise even even higher.

Everyone is talking about the miracle of the Prisoners coming home from Russia; JD Vance is also talking about this — and true to everything we know about him, his comments are idiotic and, of course, unintentionally hysterical.

When reached for comment after the prisoner’s release was announced, Vance spoke. Luckily for him, couches, dolphins, cat ladies, and women’s pregnancies did not come up. Vance said the release of the prisoners shows what a great dude Donald Trump is. This is not a joke.

The clueless Vance explained that Donald Trump’s strength made this all possible. Vance said that “bad guys all over the world” are trembling in their boots! They are trembling because they’re afraid of …wait for it… Donald Trump.

So the REAL reason the prisoners were released, speculated Just Dumb Vance, is because the bad guys, terrified of an imminent Trump presidency, are “cleaning house.”

So how does this work? Can you picture it with me?

BAD GUYS ALL OVER THE WORLD:

(“Oh no. Donald is coming for us. WHAT can we do?”)

Perhaps offer him some cheese burgers? Bonus points for nuggets.

Back to Vance: “I think it’s a testament to Donald Trump’s strength.”

Let us all take a pause, a rest here, not a long Siesta, but a brief pause, to solemnly meditate on the fact that people as moronic as Vance DO exist.

Now of course, we know what the hillbilly embarrassment to humanity is likely thinking in private.

“Oh NO. What’ll this mean for ME? Everyone will be talking about Biden and Harris and how smart they are! It’s a sucker punch! Maybe I’ll have to step in and save the day and challenge all the single cat ladies to debate.”

Next, we will hear that Donald Trump has x-ray vision, is bionic, or is the ultimate spokesperson no women’s issues. Anything’s possible (and usually happens) where Vance is concerned.