Desperate and confused Donald Trump turns to Jared Kushner and his magic eight ball

| 8:13 pm EDT March 11, 2020
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Donald Trump has announced that he’ll be addressing the nation from the Oval Office tonight. But with less than an hour to go before his scheduled address, he apparently still doesn’t know what he’s going to say. It turns out he’s at the end of his rope when it comes to the coronavirus crisis and the collapsing economy.

Trump is still waiting for advice from Jared Kushner of all people when it comes to whether or not to declare a national emergency, according to a surreal new report from Vanity Fair. And when that doesn’t work, will Trump seek advice from his magic eight ball?

Donald Trump is like the aging mobster who is losing his faculties, and has no choice but to rely on a scheming son-in-law he doesn’t trust. No wait, scratch that. Donald Trump is literally the aging mobster who is losing his faculties, and has no choice but to rely on a scheming son-in-law he doesn’t trust. This speech tonight is going to be a disaster.