“IDIOT OF THE YEAR”
Congratulations to non-Senator Ted Cruz of Cancun! Whoops — he’s from Texas, actually! I am congratulating Mr. Cruz for winning a coveted prize. Mr. Cruz has placed number nine on Deadspin’s “IDIOT OF THE YEAR AWARD.”
Let’s hear some applause! I do have one question — only number nine? I figured maybe top three. Nonetheless, this is an exciting moment for the vacation-loving Cruz as I highly doubt he’s won anything in his miserable life except being owned by Rep. Eric Swalwell. Here is some of what Deadspin had to say about the earnest Trump sycophant: “Where does one even begin to talk about Ted Cruz?” I have to stop here and say I agree entirely with THAT opening statement. There’s more:
“He’s a politician through and through.”
“Ted Cruz is an older and more dangerous Eddie Haskell, one who thinks he’s charming Mrs. Cleaver when he’s actually less self-aware of his unctuous viscera than everyone else in the room.”
“He’s also a huge idiot.”
“He basically blamed abandoning his state during a climate-crisis event on his tween daughters, who were 10 and 12 at the time. So profile-in-courage of you, Ted!”
“All of that happened before we even made it to March.”
“Guess who is whipping up support for anti-vaxxers across America and especially in the sports world? You got it. Ted Cruz.”
Oh, there’s more. But you get the picture. Still waiting on who number one is. Thank you, Deadspin, for confirming what (most) of America already knows. Ted Cruz is indeed an idiot. He is an idiot of the highest caliber. He did not make number one true; nonetheless, he is an idiot, and I can think of no finer way for an idiot like Cruz to be honored than by your public appointment of his idiocy. Congratulations, Teddy-boy.
