Horse crap

| 11:50 pm EDT October 16, 2018
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Remember three weeks ago when Donald Trump referred to Stormy Daniels as “horseface”? Just kidding, that was this morning; it just seems so long ago, with all that’s transpired since. Trump was, presumably, trying to distract us from the rapidly worsening Saudi Arabia murder scandal, which he can’t win no matter how he plays it. So instead, Mr. Horseface is feeding us horse crap.

This is what Donald Trump always does, of course. But rarely are his lies so on-the-nose, so plainly contrived, so absurdly pre-aligned with his Saudi Arabian overlords. The thing is, Trump can’t seem to get it right. He spoke with the Saudi King, who obviously told him that he was planning to blame the whole thing on rogue government agents who were acting without the Crown Prince’s approval, and that Trump was supposed to then echo that claim.

But Trump, who no longer seems to be able to keep his mouth shut even when his financial overlords tell him to, immediately blabbed that “rogue killers” might have done it. By the time reports surfaced that the Saudis were indeed planning to go with this defense, the media and much of the public had already seen right through the setup.

The trouble for Donald Trump now is that, even as Saudi Arabia prepares to admit guilt in a creative way, Trump seems unable to understand that he’s supposed to go along with it. He appears to have convinced himself that Saudi Arabia has been framed, in the same way he’s convinced himself that Brett Kavanaugh was framed, in the same way that Trump has convinced himself that he’s being framed for the crimes he can’t admit to himself that he’s admitted. Trump’s “guilty until proven innocent” pity party for the Saudis is off script. This guy can’t even keep his horse crap straight.