Here comes the Donald Trump speech from hell

| 5:00 pm EDT March 11, 2020
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If you were planning to watch television at 9pm eastern time tonight, you might have to find something to watch on the DVR instead. Donald Trump has announced that he’ll be addressing the nation tonight from the Oval Office, and because he’s still technically President of the United States, the major networks will carry it live.

Trump will presumably use his address to talk about the coronavirus crisis and the collapsing economy. This would be a good thing, if Trump understood anything at all about either topic. Instead of offering medical advice from experts and making legitimate economic proposals, he’ll likely try to convince us the virus doesn’t exist, or that it’s a hoax, or that it’s just the flu.

Then Trump will make idiotic economic proposals such as cutting payroll taxes, even though the real trouble with the coronavirus is that it’ll keep people from being able to show up to work, meaning payroll tax cuts won’t help them any. Paid sick leave would help, but that doesn’t benefit Trump’s cronies, so he won’t do it.

The real question is whether Donald Trump will be able to stick to the prepared speech that his handlers have written for him, or if he’ll lose control of himself and go completely off the rails. Come to think of it, that might be the only reason to watch.