Fox News’ psychic meltdown

English entertainer, mentalist, writer and illusionist Derren Brown once said that there are two kinds of psychics. The kind that fool others and the kind that fool themselves. That there is no such thing as a “real” psychic is a self-evident truth.

After all, anyone who was truly psychic would be the richest and most powerful person on earth, even if their “psychic advantage” was small. They would exploit their 5% edge, like human casinos, into power and riches beyond measure. They would have to be complete fools to be failures. After all, everyone knows that anyone who can’t make a success of a casino is a complete fool — and a failure.

I don’t know which kind of “psychic” Paula Roberts is. The jury is still out on that. But (and speaking of fools) Fox News host Jesse Watters invited the self-proclaimed British psychic onto his show to use her powers, in combination with her tarot cards, to “predict” what kind of year Donald Trump is going to have. I’ll bet Watters now wishes he hadn’t done that.

The first card Roberts turned over showed a bent-over man dressed in a black robe in a desolate landscape. “Uh-oh,” Roberts said. It was the Death Card. She went on to give a bleak reading for Donald Trump. Obviously knowing in advance what kind of show she was on, she tried to couch the reading in a positive light. But it was no good. Each turn of the cards made 2024 look more and more dire for Donald Trump. “It’s true,” Roberts said, “I don’t make it up.”

Following her prediction of “loss” for Trump and “lots of money” (“From China?” Watters asked) for Biden, Roberts said Americans should expect “great happiness” this year. Well, watching Donald Trump lose and Joe Biden prosper is certainly one path to happiness. I certainly hope so. Hmm, maybe there really is something to this psychic stuff?

Watters then suggested he would put psychic Roberts in touch with James Comer. Maybe she could help the chairman of the House Oversight Committee find dirt on Joe Biden. Good idea, Jesse. After all, the conventional evidentiary approach clearly isn’t working.

I am perfectly aware that, insofar as Jesse Watters is capable of having fun, he brought the English “psychic” on his show in the spirit of good old-fashioned fun — more or less. But he also knows that most of his viewers are morons and they would have loved to see Roberts hand Trump with triumph and Biden with woe. Alas for Watters, it turned out to be the other way round.

I am also perfectly aware that Watters having a “psychic” on his show is proof of just how low he is sinking, and how desperate Trump’s situation is becoming. Bringing a “psychic” on his show exposes the degree to which Watters has become hopeless. He was hoping for some good news for a change.

It was not to be. The woes of the hapless Trump continue to toll with each passing day of the new year. According to the tarot cards, Trump’s year is going to be even worse than last year, if you can imagine it. For once I hope this psychic stuff is right.

There are eight million stories in the naked city of Trump desperation. This has been one of them. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.